


A Drunken Night in Laketown

by Middle_Earth_Mama



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Background Kíli/Tauriel - Freeform, Bath Sex, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:45:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middle_Earth_Mama/pseuds/Middle_Earth_Mama
Summary: "Bilbo shook his head at the infuriating ways of stubborn dwarves and began scanning the room for Thorin. How long did it take to get a refill? Finally, he spotted him, taking shots of some amber colored liquid with the men at the bar. Thorin glanced over at him, catching his gaze, and suddenly his eyes darkened and a devilish grin overcame his features. He began making his way through the crowd back to the chair next to Bilbo."Does Laketown even have hot running water? Or whiskey? Well it does now.





	A Drunken Night in Laketown

**Author's Note:**

> A smutty night in Laketown, too much ale and not enough coordination.  
> Please enjoy! Characters are not mine, but all the mistakes are.

The room was filled with the golden light of the fireplace blazing in the corner. Joyful boisterous voices rang out in laughter and the buzz of excited conversation. The company of Thorin Oakenshield sat around a large table in the center of the pub, relishing the near end of a long and troubled journey. 

“To Thorin! King under the mountain!” Fili yelled as he jumped to his feet. He raised his tankard enthusiastically, bashing it into others and trying to make them spill on his brother.  
“I am still healing, brother! You can't pick on me, I'm injured!” Kili hollered, dramatically flailing to dodge the sloshing ale.  
“Rubbish, little brother! You're fine!” Fili bantered, ruffling Kili's dark locks.

Tauriel sat next to him, now smothering a chuckle behind her hand at the antics of the two young dwarves. She looked quite out of place, all pale smooth skin and long silky red hair. And of course being over a head taller than everyone around her. Somehow, she still seemed comfortable, fingers laced with Kili's under the table. 

Thorin did not miss the beautiful she-elf making eyes at his sister-son. He sat directly across the table, looking more agitated by the second. Dwalin, seated at his left, met his eye and gave him a knowing scowl.  
“Thorin, now what's got you so cross?” Bilbo sat at his right and he knew he could guess at the reason for the king's foul mood.  
Thorin sighed. “Nothing worth noting. Yet.” he took a large gulp of ale from his over-sized mug, peered into it longingly, then sighed again. “My well has gone dry.” 

Without another word, he rose and sauntered off towards the bar, getting a refill, Bilbo assumed. Bilbo sipped on his own drink, ignoring the stale taste. He was just grateful to be dry and warm and indoors again. 

Dwalin glanced at Bilbo and chuckled a little under his breath.  
“What's that now?” Bilbo questioned.  
“Nothing, lad. Just- Well, it will all come out eventually.”  
“What will come out?”  
Dwalin gave Bilbo a sidelong glance, but said nothing.  
Bilbo's brow furrowed and he tried to give Dwalin a scolding look, though he knew it would not be very effective. Dwalin chuckled again and turned his attention back to his drink.

Bilbo shook his head at the infuriating ways of stubborn dwarves and began scanning the room for Thorin. How long did it take to get a refill? Finally, he spotted him, taking shots of some amber colored liquid with the men at the bar. Thorin glanced over at him, catching his gaze, and suddenly his eyes darkened and a devilish grin overcame his features. He began making his way through the crowd back to the chair next to Bilbo.

Thorin dropped into the seat with his now full tankard, smelling quite potently of something much stronger than ale and smiling drunkenly at his company around the table. Balin looked at him amusedly and winked at Bilbo when he caught his eye. The other dwarves soon noticed how Thorin had loosened up and was joining in conversation, obviously quite drunk. They kept giving Bilbo knowing looks, making him all the more confused and uncomfortable as the night went on. Even Ori next to him seemed expectant of something. 

Bilbo frowned to himself. Dwarves. Dwarves and their ridiculous...dwarvishness. How was it he could find them so infuriating yet endearing at the same time? He sat in silence as the conversations around him lost their sharpness, fading to a loud hum as he lost himself in his own musings. 

“Don't ever underestimate a hobbit!” Bilbo was pulled out of his contemplative thoughts by Thorin's slurred shouting next to him.  
“Hobbit's are deceivingly clever and loyal, and have quite (hic) lovely faces!” Thorin declared. 

Bilbo stared at Thorin, eyes like saucers and face frozen in obvious confusion. Thorin beamed, looking proud of his declaration as he thrust his finger in Bilbo's face, nearly poking him square in the nose. “There! That face, right there.” 

Bilbo frowned at Thorin's fingertip, crossing his eyes slightly, then back at the dwarf's beaming face. “I- What?” 

All the dwarves burst into laughter, the dwarf king guffawing loudest, waving his hand near his head before slamming it on the table, tears of mirth streaming down his face.

Bilbo pursed his lips and stared around the table, trying to make sense of it. “Thorin, are you making fun of me?”

Thorin's face dropped at that, all traces of amusement gone to be replaced by serious drunken concern. “Mahal Bilbo, why would I make fun? You are the most important member of this company. Without you, we would still be trapped in that pointy eared tree shagger's dungeons.” There were several heads nodding in agreement around the table at that, and Thorin's face showed no sign of sarcasm or amusement. 

Bilbo's brow furrowed further, concern marring his features as he assessed the dwarf before him. “Thorin, are you.......well?” Bilbo's voice was low and tight, as though he expected Thorin to keel over if he spoke to loudly.

 

Thorin's smile returned, slowly spreading until it reached his eyes, the true smile few had ever had the privilege to witness. He placed an arm around Bilbo and squeezed him in a half hug. “I've never felt better Master Burglar.”

Thorin rose suddenly, sending his chair toppling over behind him. He staggered sideways before hauling Bilbo to his feet as well. Before he knew it, Bilbo was tucked under the arm of a very drunk king, staggering off towards the door across the room. 

“Thorin! What are you doing?” Bilbo called out, voice slightly muffled by the dwarf's arm.  
“Help me back to the house, Bilbo,” was the king's soft response. 

“Won't expect to see you before sundown tomorrow!” Bofur's voice carried after them. Laughter erupted from the table of dwarves behind them, causing Bilbo to blush violently behind the kings arm.  
Bilbo shook his head as he pushed the door open, the frozen air biting suddenly into his flesh. He grit his teeth and nestled himself a little closer to the king. Were all dwarves this warm, or was it just Thorin? He chanced a glance up at the dwarf in question and was taken aback by the warm affectionate gaze staring back at him. Bilbo was getting used to feeling like he was missing something important, but now he felt like maybe he had some idea what that something might be. “Thorin, are you-” 

Bilbo's question was abruptly cut off. Maybe it was because he was supporting someone who was drunk, and several inches taller than himself. Maybe it didn't help that he was not much more sober than Thorin. That coupled with the fact that neither of them were watching where they were going. Bilbo's foot had slipped over the edge of the wooden walk-way and he quickly dropped out from under Thorin's arm and into the frigid water below. 

Thorin sobered up rather quickly when the hobbit disappeared so suddenly from under his arm. He dropped to his knees at the water's edge. He reached in and grabbed Bilbo, hauling him up by the elbow. Bilbo coughed and sputtered as Thorin pounded him on the back. “Bilbo are you alright?” Thorin's concerned voice was barely audible over the hobbit's now chattering teeth. “Y-y-yes, I'm f-f-f-fine,” Bilbo choked out.  
“No, Bilbo I'm so sorry, let's get back to the house and get you in a hot bath.” Bilbo couldn't say no to that. He couldn't really say anything as he felt strong arms gather him up and haul him off. “Th-th-thorin, r-r-really, I c-c-can w-w-walk m-m-myself thank you v-v-very m-m-much.” Thorin looked down at the shivering mess in his arms and raised an eyebrow. “I don't think so, hobbit.” 

Bilbo was irritated at first, but quickly accepted Thorin was probably right. He couldn't feel his fingers and toes and his skin felt all prickly. His muscles were tight and achy and he really wasn't sure if he could move much on his own right now, come to think of it. So, he settled into Thorin's warm chest, letting himself be carried off.

When they reached the house they were staying in, Thorin carefully set Bilbo down. He opened the door and ushered Bilbo inside and across the floor to the bathroom. Thorin shut the door behind them and picked Bilbo up and carried him to the edge of the tub. He started the water, and carefully began unbuttoning Bilbo's jacket. Bilbo's clothes were nearly frozen in place and his movements were sluggish and he hurt with cold all over. He felt a bit embarrassed at being undressed this way, but Thorin's hands were gentle and warm on his skin. 

Thorin completed his mission quickly, baring Bilbo's frozen flesh to his heated gaze. He tried not to stare, he really did. But he failed miserably. He moved behind Bilbo and tried not to notice the smooth perfection of Bilbo's creamy skin. He really tried not to stare at where the softness of the hobbit's body was giving way to defined muscle, a testament to the trials and struggles of life on the road.

Thorin forced his gaze up to safer realms. He took in Bilbo's golden mop of curls on his head, and his tempting pointed ears peaking out from the dripping locks. He met Bilbo's gaze as he walked back around to his front, having stripped him completely. Perhaps it was his drunken state that had him boldly laying his hand against Bilbo's cheek. Bilbo leaned into the warm touch and sighed pleasantly. “I meant what I said,” Thorin whispered, “you are rather lovely.”  
Bilbo blushed lightly and squirmed a bit under the king's intense gaze. 

Thorin suddenly remembered his purpose, noting Bilbo's slightly blue lips. He turned off the water, and held out his hand to the hobbit, who took it into his own shaking ones. Thorin helped a trembling Bilbo into the warm tub. Bilbo sighed deeply as he sank into the water up to his neck. Slowly, he began regaining some feeling in his limbs. His teeth finally stopped chattering, but he still couldn't shake the cold entirely from his body. 

Thorin stood an arms reach from the tub, staring pointedly at the floor to give the hobbit a little privacy. Which seemed silly, since it was he who had stripped Bilbo bare in the first place. 

Bilbo smiled to himself. Perhaps he had indulged a bit this evening as well. He had apparently had just enough ale to summon the courage to proposition the king. “Thorin,” he began, waiting until the dwarf met his eye. “I can't seem to shake the chill. Care to join me?” Bilbo asked softly, grinning deviously at a now smirking Thorin. 

Thorin began stripping himself of his cloak in reply. “Master Baggins, I thought you'd never ask.” He made quick work of his clothing, which was impressive, given his many layers. Bilbo watched in awe as more and more of the dwarf's body was stripped bare to his eyes. Before long, the king was stepping into the steaming water with Bilbo. He sat across from the hobbit, up to his chest in water, now looking a little bit uncertain. 

Bilbo was not so hesitant. No sooner had Thorin settled himself, Bilbo half crawled across the tub and made himself comfortable on the king's lap, back to chest, laying his head back on the dwarf's muscular shoulder. He closed his eyes as smiled with a sigh. 

Thorin smiled warmly and laid his arms across Bilbo's middle. He nestled his face in Bilbo's honeyed curls, and allowed himself to take a deep inhale. 

“Your majesty, are you smelling me?” Bilbo asked in a scandalized voice.  
“Absolutely not. I would never do such a thing,” Thorin answered, smelling Bilbo's hair even more obviously. Looking down at his burglar, he finally gave in to the temptation of Bilbo's ear, flicked his tongue lightly over the sensitive shell. Bilbo gasped and pushed back into the dwarf's chest. Encouraged, Thorin placed a slow open mouthed kiss to the skin below Bilbo's ear, dragging his tongue down the exposed throat. 

“Are you warm now?” Thorin asked thickly, tickling Bilbo's ear with his breath, sending chills down the hobbit's spine.  
“I think I'm just beginning to warm up,” Bilbo responded, gazing sidelong at Thorin with a mischievous grin.

Thorin grabbed the hobbit's arms and turned him around, pulling him closer into his solid body. Bilbo placed his hands on Thorin's shoulders and wrapped his legs around the dwarf and both groaned at the contact of hot skin on skin.

Thorin laid his hands on the sides of Bilbo's face and pulled him close so their noses touched. He nibbled Bilbo's lower lip, keeping the hobbit from leaning in as he teased Bilbo's lips with tooth and tongue. He met Bilbo's gaze with dark hooded eyes. “Tell me what you want.” 

Bilbo's eyes closed as Thorin's whiskey thick breath washed over him seductively. He tried to lean in for a proper kiss, and when that didn't work, he settled for grinding his hips into Thorin's. The dwarf's breath caught in his chest at the overpowering sensation of their lengths dragging together. Bilbo took advantage as Thorin's guard dropped. He lunged forward, catching the dwarf's mouth in a searing kiss. 

Bilbo moaned appreciatively as Thorin's tongue tangled with his own. He clutched at the hard planes of Thorin's chest, fingers swirling through the coarse hair as he ground his hips into Thorin's. 

The dwarf was insatiable. He could not get enough of the hobbit, no matter how tightly he held on, their bodies never seemed close enough. He could not satisfy his need to touch, to taste. He plundered Bilbo's mouth with passionate fervor. His hands ran from Bilbo's silky soft hair, down the expanse of his back and wrapped under to cup the smooth roundness of his bottom. He squeezed the soft flesh and guided Bilbo's hips, spurring on the hobbit's frantic rocking. 

Bilbo slowed his movements and leaned back just a little, sliding his hands ever down Thorin's broad chest. The dwarf stopped and met Bilbo's gaze as two hands wrapped firmly around his cock. Thorin growled low in his chest as his eyes snapped shut and his head fell back. He whined when Bilbo pulled a couple times experimentally. After a couple deep breaths, he lifted his head and took his hand from beneath the hobbit and took up Bilbo's own arousal in it. Their eyes met and they began stroking in tandem, breaths and heart rates rising as they both wound ever up, racing towards release. 

Thorin leaned in closer to Bilbo, his hair clinging to the hobbit's shoulder.  
“I would have you,” he whispered huskily, “I would take you in a proper bed and-”  
“And I would taste every inch of you until you were a writhing mess on the sheets,” Bilbo interrupted.  
Thorin was pleasantly surprised. “Would you now?” he breathed.  
“Yes,” Bilbo gasped.  
“Yes?”  
“Yes- Oh!- Yes- Tho- Ah!” Bilbo could feel the heat tightening in his belly as desperate need tugged at every inch of him. His back arched and he thrust erratically into the rough hand that grasped him as the heat ignited. Light shattered at the edge of his vision and his voice broke on Thorin's name as it tumbled from his mouth.

Thorin watched transfixed as the object of his affections came undone by his hand, finding satisfaction in watching Bilbo pant for breath and scramble for coherency. The hobbit slumped forward, forehead against Thorin's shoulder as he desperately tried to remember his own name. Thorin gave the wrecked hobbit a chance to regain his faculties for a moment, then jumped a bit when the hobbit's hand squeezed slightly around him. 

Bilbo turned his face to the side, resting it against Thorin's damp skin as he stroked the dwarf to completion. He didn't bother to raise his head until the dwarf's moans started to build. He would not miss seeing Thorin wracked with pleasure as he came over Bilbo's hand. The dwarf's body tensed and his mouth fell open in a silent plea, then he hit his peak with a deafening roar, grasping wildly at Bilbo's back. 

Thorin held Bilbo fast to his heaving chest as they struggled to slow their racing hearts and ragged breaths. The room settled slowly around them, the sloshing water gradually dying down to light ripples as their bodies settled into a contented state of calm. They stayed that way, clutching to one another and breathing each other in, simply existing for a moment. 

Bilbo let out a satisfied sigh. “I believe I am warm now. But I'm afraid I've lost control of my limbs. I may need someone to help me to bed. And I'm certain I'll have caught cold. I would hate to wake in the middle of the night shivering.”

“No, we couldn't allow that, could we?” Thorin answered seriously. “You know, dwarves make the very best bed warmers.”  
“Why, I had no idea,” Bilbo replied in mock surprise.  
“I know one that would be more than happy to help you keep warm tonight. And perhaps every night after.”  
Bilbo leaned back to look at Thorin, eyes full of mischief. “I think I would find that quite agreeable.”


End file.
